英语六级写作经典范文及点评：留学在外

出国留学也许是很多学生梦寐以求的事情。很多家长也愿意让孩子出国去“镀金”，或丰富人生经历。但或许他们没有想到过留学在外也会面临着一些潜在的危险。

　　Studying Overseas

　　Study overseas can be the adventure of a lifetime, and the majority of these experiences are healthy and safe. But, unless some simple precautions are taken, a young person living without a parent in a foreign country can encounter cultural disorientation and real, physical dangers. While auto and motorcycle accidents are a primary cause for concern, there are a host of other factors that need to be considered①, preferably, well in advance of a student’s departure②.

　　There are the familiar risks of unsafe sex and illegal drugs. No different from home, you say? Traveling students and their parents often don’t realize how cultural and legal differences can enhance these “risk factors.” Simply put, what is “safe” or tolerated behavior in the United States can be interpreted quite differently in a foreign country.

　　In a strange place with new rules, even responsible teenagers may occasionally “lose their heads” and take chances that they wouldn’t normally take, like traveling unaccompanied to a strange country, not telling anyone where they are, or buying or selling on the black market. As a result, young travelers can easily find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

　　Still, college students often reason that “horror stories” about incarcerated Americans overseas “will never happen to me!” In his MP article Legal Rights of Travelers, international law expert Jeffrey R. Miller describes some of the penalties facing the errant traveler. These can be extreme by American standards.

　　However, safety is indeed everyone’s responsibility. The school program, the parents and the student all need to take part. Avoid potentially troublesome situations because as a foreigner you are more vulnerable. Be more cautious than at home. Here’s an obvious but critically important safety rule: Always let someone know where you are and never travel alone.

　　［298 words］

　　行文点评

　　文章第一段便指出，出国 留学除了考虑健康和人身安全之外，还要考虑到更多其他的因素。第二段指出最常见的安全隐患。第三段指出陌生环境下孩子们可能的反常行为。第四段指出孩子们对安全问题掉以轻心的态度。第五段总结全文，并提出了一些安全建议。

　　本文语句十分地道，句式多样。段落之间存在的一些具有连接功能的词语，如still, however等，让文章连贯性更强。

　　好文妙译

　　留学在外

　　我们将出国留学看作是生命中的一次冒险。在留学过程中，最需要考虑的是你的健康和人身安全。除非你预先做一些安排，否则的话，一个年少的孩子生活在远离父母的异地他乡，可能会面临一些文化困扰，或者某种真正的、伤及人身的危险。尤其是由汽车或者摩托车而造成的事故。另外我们最好在孩子临行之前，预先考虑到更多其他的因素。

　　其中最常见的就是被视为洪水猛兽的性和毒品问题了。你认为这和你在国内没有什么不同吗？留学生和他们的父母并没有认识到这种文化和法律的差异会加剧这类冒险因素。简单地说，美国人眼中所谓的安全或者可容忍的行为，在别的国家里却可能不是。

　　在一个规矩完全不同的陌生地方，即便是一个很有责任感的孩子也会偶尔迷失自己，会做出一些违反常理的事情。比如说孤身去一个陌生的城市旅行，不告诉其他人自己在哪儿，或者出入于黑市做些买卖。结果，这些年轻的游子们经常会发现自己不合时宜地出现在不该出现的地方。

　　然而，大学生们却常常认为那些监禁海外美国人的恐怖故事永远都不会发生在自己身上。国际法专家Jeffrey R. Miller在他呈交给议会的论文《旅游者的合法权益》中指出，应对那些行踪不定的旅行者加以某种惩罚。在美国人眼里，这样做是有点过分了。